My Old Navy order arrived today! I got these SIZE EIGHT (!!!!!!) jeans:
...and a pair of black cropped pants (also size 8!), two t-shirts (one pink, the other black), a casual navy skirt, and three pairs of flip flops.
I know that (at least in my experience) Old Navy's sizes run big, but I'm still seriously stoked to see a single digit on my tag!
The video is posted!! Enjoy!
(And please ignore this HIDEOUS facial expression!)
P.S. Please feel free to share and/or post any comments or questions!
Wow.
What a trip!
I had the honor of presenting at Ignite Phoenix 6 on Tuesday night.
I must be a freak of nature, because while most people would choose death over public speaking, I actually enjoy it. I was in theatre and on the speech team in high school and gave lots of presentations through college and my masters and I pretty much never got nervous. Sometimes I'd get a little amped-up or anxious, but not really nervous.
This time was totally different - I was REALLY nervous!! I'm not sure why, but I do know that not being in control of advancing my own slides was a TOTALLY new format for me, and when practicing I never really felt like I had the timing down. But a bigger reason is probably that the topic not only matters to me personally (a LOT) but was actually about me personally!
My primary goal was to inspire at least ONE person to make at least ONE dietary change. I know how much it SUCKS to be fat and unhealthy, and I know how much it inspires me to hear of other peoples' successes. I also know what it feels like to be discouraged, to not believe that I could live any other way, to not believe that I deserved to be better, and how much it means for someone - even a stranger - to tell you differently.
But as much as I wanted to do it in hopes of creating change, this presentation was also sort of a form of therapy for me - both in the delivery and in the preparation.
With the format (5 minutes, 20 slides, 15 seconds per slide) to consider, I had to SERIOUSLY boil down my topic . . . I ALWAYS have a hard time boiling ANYTHING down! :) But the process required me to think hard about what points were most important to me. And the presentation was cathartic, too. I really opened up to a group of 500+ mostly strangers - including showing a picture of myself, in a bikini, at 236.5 pounds. Wow. I still can't believe I did that! (As I was leaving the after-party with my friend Ruth I realized that all of those people I was just chit-chatting with had seen me damn-near naked - yikes!! Thankfully I didn't think about that until it was too late, or I might not have gone!) But it was a weight off my shoulders . . . ha ha ha!!!
We (the presenters) had been told by the event organizers a couple of times that the Ignite audience is probably the most supportive audience that exists - they were SO right! The audience was AMAZING . . . I can't even really put it in to words, but the energy was awesome. I felt like they really cared, which made it easier for me to just be me. Very, very cool.
My fellow presenters were also very cool - there was such a wide variety of topics but the commonality of a passion for the topic. I think it's awesome that people can care so much about something and be so enthusiastic to share it with others. I'm happy to have met them, and honored to be a part of the presenter club!
As for the more technical aspects of my presentation, I was satisfied with how I did, but there are a few things I'll need to work on before I present again. I felt like I was physically shaking, but was told by people in the audience that it wasn't visible. I don't know how my volume was - I think I may have been a bit loud. It was hard for me to judge how loud to speak not having tried out the lapel mic. Also, I felt like my movement was awkward. I wanted to use my space on the stage, but only crossed once and then just stood there, which made my one cross seem strange. Finally, when I finished, I felt like I said "thank you" and then practically ran off stage! I never practiced ending . . . I guess I should have!
Q&A
I had a couple of people ask me some questions in person either during intermission or after the show. I'm a believer in the "if-one-person-asks-three-more-want-to-know-but-didn't-ask" theory, so I'll address those. There are also some things that I've been asked in other situations when people learn about my weight loss that someone may be curious about, so here we go...
How many times have you given this talk?
Now, one. Before Ignite, never. Unless you count my practicing to Sarge, but I wouldn't. ;)
How old are you?
Isn't this one of those forbidden questions?? Like, never ask a woman her weight or her age?!?! But since I opened the door with putting my weight out there, I guess it's fair game. :) I'm quickly approaching 28.
What do you eat "on-the-run" or for quick snacks?
Good question - we're all so busy, aren't we?!? Fruits (apples, bananas, peaches, and washed grapes in a baggie travel well), veggies (carrot sticks, bell pepper strips, and cucumber slices are my fave) dipped in hummus, nuts (almonds are my current fave, but also walnuts, cashews, pistachios, and even the good 'ole peanut!), dried fruit (raisins, dried cherries and cranberries), and even some less whole, more processed but not total crap foods, like Larabars, non-buttered microwave popcorn, tortilla chips and salsa...there are LOTS of good options!
Doesn't it take more time to cook from scratch?
Actually, not really. I guess it COULD, but most of the things I make come together pretty quickly. I don't spend any more time making Quinoa with Sweet Corn or Maple Mustard Baked Tempeh than I used to spend making Hamburger Helper or Rice-a-Roni.
One healthy-eating time-saving tip that I use a lot is to pack myself a lunch for the next day when I'm preparing dinner or putting away dinner leftovers. It's often the same food (sometimes just less, because I'm not normally as hungry at lunch) but sometimes it's different food - it just saves time to take care of it while I already have my food-prep supplies out and I'm in the cooking "groove."
Also, if you compare cooking and getting fast food, cooking actually doesn't take much longer there, either, if at all. Ok, I'll grant you that hitting up a drive-thru might take less effort, but not less time. Consider getting in your car, driving, waiting to order, ordering (twice because you normally have to repeat something), waiting to pay, paying, waiting for your order, checking your order (if you're cursed with wrong orders, you get paranoid, alright?!?), driving home, parking, walking in, sitting down, unpacking the bag . . . see??? PLUS fast-food is HORRIBLE for the environment - you driving there, the packaging, the food coming there from all over the world . . . but that's a WHOLE other topic . . . point is - it doesn't really take that much time, and even if it did it would be worth it!
Isn't it more expensive to eat better?
Maybe . . . it depends on what costs you consider. If you mean 100 calories worth of organic lacitano kale vs. 100 calories of a value menu double cheese burger - YES. Without a doubt. And that's sad and it's wrong and it's pathetic, but it's true. But "cost" is so much more than dollars and cents. What about the costs to your body? Your self-esteem? Your energy level? Your mood? Your health care? The environment? And what about nutrients? I haven't done the research or the math, but I would bet that the kale is a better "deal" in terms of quite a few nutrients!
Also, it doesn't HAVE to cost that much more, if you just expend a little brain power to figure it out! I could go on forever about this, so I'll tell you just a couple tips and save the rest for a full post, but there are lots of inexpensive options. For one, dried beans and grains, especially when you buy from bulk bins. A bag of dried garbanzo beans/chickpeas costs, like, what? Under a dollar? And has 16 ounces DRIED, and makes like, four CUPS of beans? And is extremely versatile! Also, fruits and veggies aren't all that expensive when you buy what's in season - and it'll taste better and usually have traveled less, too!
And one more thing - in our economy there's this thing called supply and demand. Now I haven't taken Economics, but I do get that when the demand goes up, so does the supply, driving the price down. WE VOTE WITH OUR MONEY. By going to McDonald's you're telling them - and everyone - that you support them and what they do and you ask them to give you more of the same. So if we all started "voting" for better foods, and STOPPED "voting" for crap, we'd get more better food and less crap, and the price of better foods would gradually - but surely - come down. So take one for the team and just buy better food!
I think my mom/sister/friend/neighbor would like your presentation - are you going to go on tour?
LOL...NO. :) I'm WAY too busy, and I don't think there'd be much of an audience! But I did hear that the videos of all of the presentations will be posted to YouTube, so if you want to see it or share it, that would be the way!
I am also MORE than willing to communicate with anyone who has questions or just wants to talk . . . as long as THEY come to me. Remember that my #1 Essential Ingredient is readiness - I WILL NOT contact your mom/sister/friend/neighbor because YOU want me to.
Isn't eating the way you do BORING? It must be miserable depriving yourself...
Woah, woah, woah...who said I'm bored and deprived?!?! Let me tell you - I am neither!
Anyone can get bored with what they eat, if they don't vary their diet. Yes, if I ate green salads for every lunch and dinner, I would be bored. But I've actually expanded my options, because I've tried some new things that I love! And what about boring FOODS? Like steamed broccoli. Yeah, steamed broccoli is kinda boring. The solution is easy - add flavor! Herbs and spices have no calories but add so much flavor. Also, fat isn't forbidden - I like to drizzle some olive oil on my cooked veggies . . . a teaspoon only has 39 calories!
As for deprivation, yes, it is possible to feel deprived when following any eating plan. But I don't because I do eat some treats! There's actually quite a lot of vegan junk food! But I do limit my portions and make choices. For instance, I don't (usually!) have both wine and sorbet or vegan ice cream - I just decide which one I want more!
And as for misery, even if there was some misery in eating vegan, it wouldn't be as much misery as the animals experience so I think I could handle it.
How many calories do you eat a day? How do you know how many you should have?
I don't know how many calories I eat . . . I know, I know - I said in my presentation that calories matter! And they do, they totally do. But numbers and I . . . well, we've never really gotten along. ESPECIALLY big numbers - and when I say big I mean 3 or 4 digits.
So I use WeightWatchers. Instead of calories, I count WeightWatchers points - points are based on the calories, total fat, and dietary fiber in a food, and are WAY easier for me to keep track of. They tell you your daily points target, which is based on your weight, lifestyle, age, and sex. Right now, my personal target is 22 - I estimate that that's equivalent to about 1600 calories, depending on the fiber and fat in the foods I choose.
I've been to meetings and done the online program, and I like them both. In fact, right now I'm doing both! It's SOOO easy to track online - that's what the slide image is on the "quantity matters" slide of my Ignite presentation, a screen-shot of my WW tracker - and they even have an iPhone app! Yes, there are membership fees for WW, both for the meetings and for the online program, but I think it's VERY worth it!!
But it isn't necessary - for a long time I tracked calories in an Excel spreadsheet. I had one sheet of foods (with their amounts and calories) that I ate frequently, and another sheet for each day of the week where I would record what I ate. I got calorie numbers for free at calorieking.com, and I Googled "how many calories should I eat a day?" and browsed a few of those sites for information.
Even if you don't track calories or any other number, just writing down WHAT you eat is a good habit to get into. So many of us get food-amnesia!
How do you get your protein?
First of all, I think that most of us have a warped sense of how much protein we really need. The RDA depends on age, sex, and weight, so I can't tell you how much YOU need, but for an adult female my age the RDA is only about 58g a day - and more isn't necessarily better. (So you can get a frame of reference, one 4oz serving of canned tuna has 29g, the same amount of chicken breast has 35g, and the same amount of steak has 34g [and do most people REALLY only eat 4oz of chicken or steak?!?] . . . so as you can see, most Americans CONSIDERABLY exceed the RDA.) It would be possible for someone to not get sufficient protein on a vegan diet if that person didn't eat enough plant-based proteins - vegan doesn't necessarily equal healthy. But remember that I'm not ONLY concerned about eating vegan, I'm concerned about eating healthfully.
Personally, I'm not worried about it at all. I don't track my protein intake. But I do eat a variety of nutrient-rich plant-based proteins, like beans, nuts, legumes, grains (quinoa is delicious and is quite high in protein!), and soy products. I'm confident that I'm doing just fine!
(If you want more info on this - protein seems to really worry people! - here's a website that I found particularly helpful: http://www.vrg.org/nutrition/protein.htm)
Is your husband vegan?
Oh no, Travis is a dedicated omnivore. :) But he's very supportive of how I eat, and he also does enjoy many of the vegan meals I make. So far, he's liked EVERY SINGLE recipe I've made from The Vegan Table - just one reason I recommend it! There are some dishes, like spaghetti, that work well for both of us - he can add his meat and I can add extra veggies. It hasn't been a problem at all! (So there goes your excuse that you can't make a change because someone in your home doesn't need or want to change, too! If I could do it, you can too!)
Do you have kids? If so, are they vegan?
No kids yet! Just the pup, and he's not vegan - I think dogs were meant to be carnivores. But Travis and I have discussed this issue, and here's how I think we'll handle it, when the time comes. First, when I'm pregnant, I plan to continue eating vegan. I see no reason to change, AS LONG AS I'm eating healthfully vegan - meaning sufficient high-quality calories and nutrients. Judging from how I eat now that shouldn't be a problem.
What if I get a craving for meat? I don't really know how I'll handle that, because I've never experienced pregnancy cravings, so I don't know how they feel. I've been told that we crave things for a reason (like we're lacking a particular nutrient) so those cravings should be indulged. BUT I have also heard that some pregnant women crave strange things, like dirt . . . I don't think many people would tell them to indulge that craving, would they?!?! I'd like to think that I'd have enough control over myself to properly respond to cravings and still make healthy choices. As for raising kids, I would plan to start them vegan, and explain to them why, in age-appropriate ways, of course. When they're old enough to make their own choices they certainly could do so!
How do you handle eating out?
Sometimes this is tricky. This is one of the areas where being appropriately assertive but NOT aggressive comes into play most. First, I always check to see if the restaurant I'm planning on visiting has a website. It can be an excellent tool! In addition to scoping out the menu, I look for sections about nutrition and/or allergens. I also just Google the name of the restaurant and the word vegan.
But if you don't have advance notice, that's ok, too! My default choice is a plain baked potato and steamed vegetables. I get salsa or Italian dressing on the side and top my potato with that. Green salads are also an option, just beware of creamy dressings and cheese.
At nicer restaurants, I call ahead and explain that I'm vegan and ask if I can be accommodated. I'm not very picky - I don't like green beans, but other than that, really any fruit, veggie, bean, and/or grain sounds good to me! I tell the chef to use his or her creativity and just make me something! They love it - that's what they were educated to do, not just to follow recipes - and my dining companions are usually jealous of what is delivered from the kitchen!
To be honest, there are quite a few restaurants that are NOT AT ALL vegan-friendly. Off the top of my head I can name Panda Express and Red Robin. They do not offer a SINGLE vegan option. So I just don't go there. And if I was with a huge group and everyone else was adamant about going there . . . this is where the whole "it won't kill me to miss a meal" mentality comes in. I'd sit and enjoy a glass of iced tea and the conversation. [If you're not comfortable skipping meals (like having a history of eating disorders or pregnant or low blood sugar) keep a food bar or baggie of trail mix in your purse or car, or slip one in your pocket before going out, just in case.]
And then I'd find new friends. If they can't pick a different restaurant that is happy to accommodate you are they really that good of friends?!?!?
How do you do it?? I couldn't live without ______ (I most frequently hear cheese, chocolate, beer, and steak, but you can really fill in the blank with anything!)
I have a few responses to that. Ok, first, be honest - you COULD live without it...you just don't want to. Be honest with yourself about your readiness to change and about your priorities. Is mowing down a hunk of cheese chased by soda REALLY worth size 20 jeans? Maybe the answer for you is yes. And that's fine - I don't judge . . . IF you're being honest with yourself. If you're lying to yourself, making excuses, and whining . . . ok, I still don't judge, because I've been there. But just give it some serious soul-searching thought. Ok??
Second, you don't always HAVE to live without it! I still drink wine and eat chocolate...just vegan ones and in controlled quantities. And I do indulge in treats every now and then. Fritos and bean dip are vegan. There's an AMAZING vegan ice cream . . . But I know that these treats aren't GOOD for me, so I limit them. And limiting them really isn't that hard - as you get used to eating better, your palate will adjust and you'll actually prefer real foods. For instance, I now think an awesome desert is a bowl of fresh berries. Mmmm . . . And junk foods taste too fake.
But this rationale doesn't apply to everything - we've all heard the phrase "everything in moderation," but that isn't always true. Some things are just BAD - heroin in moderation? Meth in moderation? Arsenic in moderation? NO. I feel the same way about certain foods and "foods." Again, which particular foods are bad could be different for everybody, but personally, I see dairy as a BAD food. Both in my experience and according to quality research studies I've read, dairy products in general and cheese in particular are physically addicting. I also see high fructose corn syrup as a bad "food," and while I'm not as adamant about avoiding it as I am dairy, I do strictly limit it.
I recommend that you try it for yourself - abstain from the item and see how you feel. And if you want to tempt it, after a few weeks eat the item again and see how you feel. Then listen to your body and your instinct.
Are you really vegan or do you just eat like one?
Oh damn, smackdown! ;) If you don't know what this question is really asking, here's the scoop. Some people who identify themselves with vegan take the term very seriously, and it carries social and cultural implications. Veganism goes beyond eating habits and encompasses avoiding use of ANY animal product. I'm sure that there are many people who would say that based on my lifestyle, I am NOT a vegan. I often don't pay attention to whether things are tested on animals, or contain lanolin, but I'm starting to. (I just bought new vegan shampoo and conditioner!) I still wear my sheepskin Uggs, carry my leather purses, wear my wool sweaters, and sit on my leather couch. Now that I am better informed about animal issues, those things do sort of bother me - but getting rid of them prematurely serves no purpose. It doesn't bring the animal back to life. I plan to use them until they wear out, and when they do, I plan to replace them with cruelty-free items.
But since I'm serious about not eating animals and their secretions, I'm comfortable using the term myself. The truth is that when I use the term at restaurants, servers typically know what I mean and know that I don't want the rice if its cooked in chicken broth, the beans if there's pork in them, and that no, it's not ok to just pick the chickens out of a soup. So is it 100% accurate to call myself vegan? Nope. Am I ok with that? Yep!
Are you done losing weight? What's your goal weight?*
Nope! Still a work in progress! As of this morning, I'm at 161 - SIX pounds away from my official Weight Watchers goal, and 16 pounds away from my personal goal of 145. I think a weight of around 150 will be what I strive to maintain. So then why have a personal goal of 145? Mostly because I want to be able to say I've lost over 100 pounds. :) Also, I'm not completely sure what weight will be sustainable, so I plan to play it by ear. So I guess my real goal is that I want to be at a comfortable, healthy, attractive weight that I can easily maintain.
If losing weight on this plan has been easy, how will you STOP losing and start maintaining when you reach your goal weight?*
I've given this some serious thought! I've been satisfied with the quantity of food I'm eating, and I refuse to reduce the quality of food I'm eating. As I've lost weight, I lose less each week - does that make sense? For example, when I was in the 200's, I could lose 3 or 4 pounds a week . . . now it's more like 1/2 to one pound, and I've even had one week where I maintained and didn't lose any weight. So I think that as I approach my healthy sustainable weight, my body will "do its thing" and work to keep me there. I'm not afraid of becoming accidentally too skinny - I think it would take a lot of work and restriction to pass below what my body thinks is right.
But I will more than likely need to increase my daily calorie/point intake - most people do! Since I don't want to add MORE food, and I don't want to eat any more junk, I plan to just increase the healthy fats in my diet. I'll eat more nuts for snacks, use some more olive oil in my cooking, and eat more avocado - those kinds of things. I'll just have more of some foods that are more calorie-dense.
I do still plan to weigh or measure and record - some people gradually end these habits, which is awesome for them, but it's WAY too easy for me to suffer from "portion distortion!" If I eyeball 1/2 cup, I will serve myself too much every time. And it doesn't take a lot to whip out my measuring cup or use a disguised measuring serving spoon, but the accuracy is important to me.
* No one has actually asked me these, but I would guess that someone would be curious, so I sometimes bring it up on my own!
Phew!
That was a marathon blog-post! If you even read a quarter of it, congrats! (And thanks!)
Please feel free to comment here, contact me on Twitter, or email me with any other questions or comments!
According to my home scale this morning*...
I AM NOT OBESE!!!!!
I am officially only overweight! :)
Next step - healthy-weighted!
*Yes, against the formal advice of Weight Watchers, I do weigh myself every morning. It works for me, and the reason it works for me is that (for the most part) I'm able to keep it as just a number, and as just feedback about the results of my actions. What I mean is that I don't take it personally. But I do take it seriously - I want to see the same number as the day before or a half pound less.
That said, the "weigh every day" method doesn't work for everyone - in fact, it used to not work for me. I was too emotionally attached to the number on the scale, and if I didn't see the number I wanted I developed a defeatist attitude. I was MUCH better off weighing only once a week!
When people find out that I'm not eating animals or their secretions, and really restricting my gluten intake, I'm often asked "well, what DO you eat?? What's left?!?!?"
The answer is...A LOT!! A lot of healthy, whole, GOOD FOOD. I eat a lot of fruits and vegetables, whole grains, beans, and tofu and tempeh.
I've been trying to limit processed/packaged foods, eating foods as close to their unprocessed, natural state as possible, so I don't have an extensive list of brand-name items. This goes for meat and dairy alternatives, too - for the most part I don't miss animal flesh or secretions, so I don't feel the need for an alternative for them. (In fact, I recently tried Gardein "chicken" cutlets, and they were so much like chicken in terms of look and texture that it kinda grossed me out! They did NOT have that meaty flavor, though, so that was good, but I don't see the need to eat them frequently.) You need to check the labels of any substitute or alternative item, because many items on the market are vegetarian, but NOT vegan - they use milk or eggs as a binder. (For instance, most of the Boca and Gardenburger products are NOT vegan!) I do like Yves brand Meatless Ground Round, and their Zesty Italian Brats. Most of these products are made from seitan, which is pretty much ALL gluten, so I limit them for that reason, besides that they're a processed food.
One meat sub that I like and that does NOT contain gluten or carageenan (which I discuss more later) is SoyRizo. It's available at my local Safeway, as well as Sprouts and Whole Foods. I LOVE THIS STUFF. It really reminds me of chorizo and has an awesome smoky, spicy flavor and great texture.
The general "I don't substitute" rule goes for cheese, too. I've found that for the most part I don't need or want the cheese, and when I just do without I don't even notice. That said there are some times when you just need or want the cheesey taste! (i.e. quesadillas or baked ziti) Read your labels carefully before you buy - Veggie Shreds and Veggie Slices, which are available in my grocery store, contain casein, the (addictive, stomach-upsetting) milk protein. Besides those, I've only tried the Follow Your Heart Brand, and I really liked it. It melted better than I expected, and had good flavor. I wasn't a fan of the texture of the unmelted cheese, though, so I'll only use it for melty applications! I've found Follow Your Heart cheeses at Sprouts and Whole Foods.
Also, many dairy substitutes include an ingredient called carrageenan, which thickens/jells/holds together dairy alternatives, and the jury is still out as to its safety. You can do the online research about it yourself, but to be safe I just limit my use. (In fact, I've only bought two blocks of vegan cheese since becoming vegan almost 3 months ago - one cheddar and one mozzarella - and I plan to keep my usage at about that level.) Again, check your labels before you buy - I've found it in Silk soy milk and some varieties of Almond Breeze almond milk.
As for butter...I now mostly use olive oil. It's healthier and tastes good. But sometimes you don't want that olivey taste. Enter Earth Balance (available at Sprouts and Whole Foods) - vegan margarine. It's non-hydrogenated, And it tastes GOOD. If you can't get to a health foods store, there's also Smart Balance LIGHT - NOT the regular Smart Balance, which contains whey - which is also vegan and available at the supermarket.
FOODS AND MEALS
Ok, so enough chit-chat...what do I actually eat? Keep in mind that this is not AT ALL an exhaustive list, just what came to mind as I was typing!
Breakfast:
So my cleanse is *officially* over! I did it - with only a couple of small unintentional mishaps - I went 21 days without sugar, gluten, animal products, caffeine, and alcohol.
Want to see some statistics? I lost...
A mellow evening for us - watching "The Shining" and handing out candy to trick-or-treaters. I didn't even put on a costume - just slumming it in lounge clothes!
(Our insurance against getting TPed or egged tonight ;)
I did dress up - sorta - last night. Our Women Law Students' Association put on a Halloween party at the Florence Crittenton group home for girls. The girls really enjoyed it, and so did we! Lea and me dressed up as cats:
This morning I woke up not feeling too well, so I spent a good portion of the day resting, and even took a 3 hour nap!
For dinner, I made Travis four-cheese tortellini with meat sauce, and I made myself leftover stewed white beans, roasted brussles sprouts, and homemade gluten-free vegan cornbread!
I made the white beans on Thursday, and they were a bit hard, but I thought they'd soften up while they sat and when I reheated them. They didn't. :( The flavor was great, I just think I should have boiled them longer. Next time!
The cornbread was...pretty good! I adapted the recipe (to make it gluten free) from The Joy of Vegan Baking
Here's the recipe I used:
I also didn't have any baking soda (I know! HOW did I not have any baking soda?!?) and my baking powder was WAY expired (like, two YEARS expired!) so I think it was more dense than it would be had I had proper ingredients. But it was still really good, and cleanse-friendly!
And speaking of the cleanse, I'm still doing quite well, and eating quite well!
I set aside for myself a roll of Spree candies, and I may or may not indulge tonight...I'm still debating. On one hand, I know that the "all-or-nothing" mentality doesn't work well for me, and candy and Halloween are so intimately intertwined that it almost seems a sacrilege to not have even one piece! But on the other hand, I don't really HAVE to have it, and I'm not even craving it. I look at the big bowl of candy, shrug, and say "eh."
So maybe I won't eat it - instead I'll have a gluten-free vegan brownie made by my friend Anya! Anya is an INCREDIBLE baker - you should see some of her gorgeous and delicious cupcakes! - and she made us Halloween treats! Our friend Lea has been (mostly) gluten-free for about a year (and is now also flirting with veganism!) so Anya made us special healthy brownies. She even packaged them in a black bat box with pink tissue - SOOO cute!
(Lea, Anya, and me)
Well, I'm off to tend to the rest of the trick-or-treaters, finish watching the movie, and then maybe a hot bath? Or just straight to bed! Gotta get my rest so I can be productive tomorrow - you saw my to do list!
So my cleanse is going well. I haven't been any hungrier than usual, and I don't feel deprived.
However, I had my first restaurant meal last night at an event for Women Law Student Association.
We had a mixer at Macayo's - Mexican food. The organization paid for non-alcoholic beverages and appetizers...and Macayo's has NO vegan appetizers! And nothing that could be adapted, either. But that's ok, a lot of people get meals, so I ordered a side of Mexican rice and a side of black beans. (I was pretty sure that the refried beans would be made with lard, and in case you didn't know, lard = pig.) Perfect solution!
EXCEPT that I forgot to ask if the beans came topped with cheese...and they did. And since I didn't ask for them without cheese, I didn't want to send them back, because it was my mistake, and because our two poor servers were already overworked helping our group of 35 ladies! Honestly, if I were with a smaller group I might have briefly explained my situation to the waiter before I ordered, and hopefully avoided the situation.
I thought about trying to pick off the cheese, but there wasn't a whole lot, and what there was was kinda shaped onto individual beans...so I considered this a "close enough" situation and just ate the beans. Life happens. While I totally would have preferred plain beans, IT IS OK.
The (very strong) perfectionist in me wants to say, "ok, start over, count today as day 1, so that you can reach your goal of the 10 perfect days," the (weaker, but strengthening) realist in me says that's lame. The goal is progress, not perfection.
I did notice, though, that I woke up with a stuffy nose, like usual, but NOT like yesterday. I wonder if there's any connection or if it's a total coincidence. We'll have to see how the next few days are!
HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!!
So I was watching The Biggest Loser last night. (Love the show!) In case you didn't see it, half the group was sent home for a week, to deal with life and weight-loss without being in the artificial universe of the show.
At many points, I saw the contestants at restaurants and saying "I can't eat that," or some form of that statement. My first thought was what the heck are they doing eating out? Personally, I'd have my family and friends over to see me at my place, so I could cook and be in control. But the argument can be made that eating out is a part of life, so they need to learn how to deal with it, and I agree to a point. And they were probably also told/required to go out to eat by the Director or Producer or whomever is in control.
My second thought was that the "I can't eat that" mentality is bad, and if they're thinking that there are foods that they CAN or CAN'T eat, they aren't making significant changes and their weight loss won't stick. I'll admit, I was judging...hard.
But then I stopped myself - who am I to say what mentality will lead to permanent weight loss? Look at the TONS of weight I've dropped and picked back up! Hi, my name is Pot...nice to meet you, Kettle.
AND who says what is RIGHT?!?! Just because I don't think that mentality wouldn't work for me doesn't mean it won't work for them.
But for me, I'm pretty sure it won't work...I don't want my life to be that strictly structured. For instance, this gluten-free, vegan, sugar-free, alcohol-free, caffeine-free cleanse...I think I can handle it mentally because I know it's for a finite time. I DON'T think it would work for me to claim to "be" vegan, or to "be" gluten-free, because that implies FOREVER. I don't do well with commitment, at least when it comes to food! :)
And I was really struggling with that reading Alicia Silverstone's book, The Kind Diet: A Simple Guide to Feeling Great, Losing Weight, and Saving the Planet
But the thought of NEVER, EVER, EVER again having brie or manchego with crisp apple slices? Or a fresh chevre and sliced tomatoes on whole-grain bread? Or sushi...or shrimp cocktail...or seared scallops...?
CAN'T DO IT.
But the good news is that I don't have to.
:)
I can eat clean most of the time, and indulge when I really want to, when it'll really be worth it, and still feel good knowing that most of the time I'm eating in a way that is kind to my body and to the planet.
And that's comforting to me. It makes me feel like I'll have more strength when faced with something tasty but icky...it's not worth the huge harm to my health and the Earth for a drive-thru cheeseburger, but I'll take a small hit for good salmon nigiri!
Ok, so far, so good!
(Baked sweet potato, roasted brussles sprouts with olive oil and fresh ground pepper, and mushrooms sauteed in Smart Balance.)
How could I be unsatisfied with this delicious dinner?!? Or last night's black bean burger with avocado on a brown rice tortilla? Mmmmm...
The biggest challenge is going to be dinners when I'm cooking for myself AND Travis. I don't think it'll be so easy to find meals that fit my dietary requests and his culinary requests!
So in honor of the successful completion of two days, this week's Ten on Tuesday is ten foods that I love that fit my cleanse eating plan!
Ok, so you may remember that last year, around this time, I did a cleanse. I think there's something about Fall that makes me do a radical 360 about my eating and health habits. Maybe it's the change of seasons or something, but I'm inspired again. This time, it's the Quantum Wellness Cleanse: The 21-Day Essential Guide to Healing Your Mind, Body and Spirit
So basically, I'm going to shoot for 21 days without what Freston calls "the big five":
.
.
This week's theme - reasons to get my health mojo back:
Back to Class:
Today was the first day of Spring semester. I had Criminal Law and Law and the Regulatory State - Intellectual Property. Both seem like they'll be pretty good. Criminal was a little bit slow, but I'm assuming just because it was all introductory. My IP professor is HILARIOUS. And the subject matter is really interesting.
It was so good to see the girls again! I have class with Anya and Lea, but am apart from Nisha and A. :( Oh, and Nisha brought us each an adorable gift basket with items from her hometown...and caramels that she made herself!! So sweet of her.
I also was able to get a locker at the gym, thankfully! They were up for rent at 8am, and I was there right at 8, but there was already a line. I had class at 8:30, so I had to leave the gym, and thus my spot in line, at 8:15. :( I was so happy that when I went back after class at 3pm, there were still lockers available. Yay! That'll make it so much more convenient to work out.
Back on Track:
I had a gain last night at Weight Watchers. :( My eating has been haphazard at best since the holidays, and the scale provided feedback confirming that I can't eat junk and lose weight. So no more dicking around. Today I just got stubbornly back on track, and had a PERFECT food day. I mean IDEAL. Complete with fruits and veggies, whole grain, high protien, and even a dairy serving! It feels good to be back in control. :)
Now I just need to get back to the gym, and set a consistent schedule.
It feels good to get back in a routine!
So, I rode the light rail today! And not just for fun, but to actually GET someplace!
I drove to the park and ride lot at 38th St. and rode to the bridal salon where I was to meet my sister, mom, and grammi to pick out my mom's dress for my sister's wedding.
Except that I missed my stop. :(
No biggie, right? Just get off at the next stop, and walk back. Except it's a pretty long way. Ok, then, get on the next train going the opposite direction. Except that the train only goes in one direction at that stop. So I had to walk one block south to get on the east-bound train. Then at the correct stop, I had to walk a block north, then a block west.
So I prefer to not think of it as "public transportation" and think of it instead as an "urban exercise excursion" because I did more walking than I had anticipated!
(Which is good - it'll work on burning off the tostada + margarita I had for lunch! ;)
Oh, and I have no pictures because I forgot to take my dang memory card out of my computer! Drat!
For a few years now, I haven't really made new year's resolutions, but instead have made birthday goals that I want to achieve in the year from one birthday to another. Because that really is MY new year, right? (But I can't take credit for the concept - my friend/former co-worker Jason gave me the idea; he's been doing it for years!)
You may remember my "27 things" list (for which I need to check my progress!) which I am certainly going to continue working on, but this year, I'm going to make a resolution as well. Unlike small, specific goals, for which I always write out the steps I'll take to achieve it, the tools I'll need, support people, a time frame, and progress measures, etc., I'm going to think of my resolution differently. It's less of a goal, and more of a guiding focus.
So what will that focus be?
I've always been a dreamer and a planner. I can't remember ever not thinking ahead and making plans, even as a little girl. And I think that characteristic has served me well. It has been instrumental in my achieving the goals I set.
However, I've come to realize that, like almost everything, too much of a good thing is not such a good thing. While my tendency to plan and dream is certainly an asset, if I become too focused on the future, I miss out on the beauty of the present.
Therefore, my resolution for 2009 is to appreciate, honor, and experience the HERE and NOW. To be PRESENT.
I can think of many times in my life already that I haven't fully appreciated because I was too focused on thinking ahead. I blew through my senior year of high school thinking of how cool college would be. In college I thought of being a working woman and getting married. In both of my careers I thought of the next.
In my life right now, it would be very easy to get caught up in too much future thinking - and worrying! And that's really pointless. I want to fully appreciate my life NOW. I am in such a unique, awesome, challenging, but FUN phase of life! I want to truly experience the opportunities I have. I am married without kids, a full-time law student, an apartment-dweller, a Weight Watchers member, and a budding yogi. Life will NOT be better when I am a mother, a lawyer, a home-owner, a thin "Lifetime" member at my goal weight, and a seasoned yoga practitioner. It WILL be different then, but not necessarily better - every phase of life has its benefits and challenges, and rather than judge the phase I'm in and wish for greener grass, I want to honor now for what it is.
My aim is to appreciate the benefits and meet the challenges HERE and NOW, and to fully be PRESENT in the beautiful life I'm living.
Here's to being present in 2009!
Phew. It's over. The most food-obsessed holiday of the year has officially come to an end.
I had two celebrations this year: Thanksgiving day at my paternal Grandma's house, and yesterday at my parents'. I am proud to report that I kept my eating under control at both, and my snarking *mostly* under control at both as well.
First for the eating...
I drank my last glass of "lemonade" - for a while, anyway!!
10 days, food-free. Wow.
Honestly, I wasn't sure if I could do it...but I am SO proud of myself for sticking it out.
And, my stomach has been feeling so much better, and I've lost 13 pounds. (I'll do a final weight in the morning, and take my measurements, too.)
So what now? Well, after 10 days without food you can't just eat anything right off the bat. The book suggests a way to break the fast, which I'll (mostly) follow.
Day 1 (that's tomorrow!) - the book says only orange juice, but I'm going to also eat a whole orange for lunch and one for dinner. (That small modification is where the "mostly" from above comes in.) Yay, something not LEMON!!
Day 2 - orange for breakfast, orange for lunch, homemade veggie soup for dinner...yay, something not sweet!!
Day 3 - orange for breakfast, veggie soup for lunch, salad for dinner...yay, something to crunch!
Day 4 - the book says to resume eating as normal, assuming normal is healthfully. I'll start South Beach Phase One, and I'll discuss that more when we get there.
I have more to post, including the weekly card, but I'm tired, so it's bed time for me, folks!
The secret to losing 10 lbs in a week without diet, exercise, or, apparently, the Master Cleanser...
TIME TRAVEL!
Is it obvious to anyone else that the baby in "after" is noticeably months younger than the baby in "before"?
*Ok, Devil's Advocate, I know, no one said it has to be the same baby...but is this woman ALWAYS taking pictures holding random babies? Nonetheless, it's a funny ad. :)
The bath helped my spirits, for sure. :) But I'm still having food cravings. I figure if I acknowledge them, write them down, and get them out maybe that will help dismiss them.
So here they all, in all their strangeness:
9:32 pm - scallops
9:37 pm - mussels
9:44 pm - Sunsweet Ones (prunes)
9:50 pm - chicken ceasar salad
9:52 pm - SHRIMP ceasar salad
10:12 pm - bacon wrapped filet mignon
10:14 pm - sauteed mushrooms
10:19 pm - chicken drumstick from El Pollo Loco
Ok, I've had enough monitoring...but I think the theme is protein! Good thing after this shindig is SouthBeach!
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